Coping with Grief During the Holidays

Tips to facing life after loss

With the holiday season in full swing, our team at Ethos Hospice wants to shine a light on an often overlooked aspect of this time of year. For those who are coping with grief during the holidays, the season can shift from a time of celebration and togetherness to an unbearable experience.

As someone coping with the death of a loved one, the thought of family traditions and gatherings may leave you wanting to avoid the holidays altogether. At the same time, there are alternatives to avoidance and isolation. That’s why we reached out to Wendy Tabor-Buth, our Bereavement Coordinator at Ethos, for advice and support strategies to navigate life after loss during the holiday season.

Staying open with yourself and others

Maintaining an open line of communication with yourself and others can bring a sense of comfort and validation to the grieving process. In Wendy’s words, “Seek out caring friends or family who will support you and listen without judging.”

For some, this could mean reevaluating certain traditions from both a physical and emotional standpoint. For others, it may mean waiting to RSVP for a holiday event until the day of. In either case, communicating with family and friends is key.

Giving yourself room to grieve

Best said by Wendy, “Grief looks different for everyone… that’s normal and ok.” Likewise, grief isn’t limited to the first holiday season after a loved one’s death. No two grieving processes are exactly alike. In turn, it’s important to let yourself feel the emotions of grief while leaning on your coping strategies.

As you cope with grief during the holidays, remember to take care of yourself. This means maintaining key health considerations like sleep, nutrition, and exercise to uplift your mood and ease the emotions you may be experiencing.

When you feel ready, consider finding a way to embrace your memories such as sharing stories, lighting a remembrance candle, or revisiting cherished photos. As you do, remember that moments of joy and laughter do not mean you miss your loved one any less.

Connecting with others

By surrounding ourselves with the love and support of caring family members and friends, we can maintain a sense of connection while processing the emotions of grief. In the words of Wendy, “asking for support is an act of strength — not weakness.”

Staying connected also extends beyond family and friends. From checking in regularly with your physician to attending holiday services among your faith community, opportunities to connect are all around us. You may also find meaningful connections through a regular grief group or a grief counselor.

Lending a helping hand

If someone in your life is navigating their first holiday season after the loss of a spouse, cherished friend, or family member, small gestures of kindness go a long way. As Wendy recommends, “listen without judging, minimizing, or giving advice.”

From small gestures like sending a holiday card or helping decorate to holiday event invitations rooted in understanding should they decline, your actions can make a difference. At the same time, looking out for warning signs such as alcohol abuse, withdrawal, personal neglect, or excessive guilt can ensure your loved one’s safety through intervention.

Ethos grief support

At Ethos, our monthly grief support group offers a beacon of hope to those coping with grief during the holidays. Available to hospice family members and loved ones, as well as the community, these sessions put a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on within reach. We encourage you to visit our website or call (701) 515-0240 for more information.